Anal probe-y?

(holds up a flashlighty thing to Annie)

Theo: "Do you like this?"
Annie: "It looks a little anal probe-y."
Theo: "Would you like an anal probe?"

"Such a sausage fest, It'll be like heaven for a woman"

"I also wanna go see Transformers cos there's gonna be like BIG LINE of hot chicks."

Keeping You Abreast

"Mmmm Breasts. Yes!"

Does He Think We Believe This Stuff?

Me: "Why are you staring at me? What did I do?"
Theo: "I am just admiring the beauty of the environment around me."

And There Was Prancing

(While I am working quietly away at my own desk, staring at my computer monitor)

Theo: "Why are you lookin' at me?"
Me: "What?"
Theo: "YOU! You are lookin' at me!"
Me: "Uhhh"
Theo: "Do you need a closer look?"

(Theo prances across the room and stands 3" from my face)

Theo: "There! All better?"
Me: "Uhhh"

Lightsabreing?

(In A Yoda Voice)

"YES! I AM DONE! I AM LIGHTSABREING IT ALL DONE TODAY! TAKE THAT YOU PUBLIX HEADER!"

(30 seconds later)

"Chewbacca is much more fun to do but I can't do it right...
YAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!"

Sometimes he doesn't even have to talk

(He stands up from his desk, plants his feet shoulder length apart and begins grinding his hips and swishing his knees and arms back and forth as if he's skiing moguls. He does this for about 15 seconds before stopping and sitting back down to work as if nothing has happened. All of this happens without him saying a word.)