Candy Coated Chocolate Flavored Candy

Theo: "Yes Liz, it's more rocking than your usual affair."
Me: "No, it's a fare, not affair."
Theo: "It's more titillating for it to be an affair."

He definitely has a self confidence problem

"All my ideas are good ideas."

He's talking about... pudding?

"It's like a personal massage on my tongue."

Lactating...

"Seriously man, are you lactating? Stop massaging your nipples during work!"

Not nominated for 2nd floor employee of the month

"What about you Bill, are you wet and tingly?"

where does he think he's going?

"I just want you all to know that i"ve enjoyed working with you. you're good people and if i should be offered a job in tobago or barbados or san francisco or somewhere in europe i will have to bid you farewell. but until that time..."

old meat?

"It smells like old meat in here. I SMELL LIKE OLD MEAT!"

Whatever gets him in the mood

"Did you just try to grab my crotch?!? You just tried to grab my crotch!"

(30 Seconds Later)

"Hey [name deleted], remember last night? How are your rug burns? Did you put some salve on that?"