What flavor are your buns?

“I have small wheat buns, Heather has large white buns.”

Have To's

“I don’t know. I don’t really like it. Heather watches American Idol. ... I have to watch it with her.”

On Sewing

“She’s my little pincushion.”
(In reference to Heather)

No Title Does This Justice

"I want to lick the ebony."
(With his tongue in a pack of pudding)

More on the Chain Gang

"Wait til I get my chain gang, it'll be great."

Walking Down The Aisle

"That would be silly, he would lose his freedom."
(In reference to getting married.)

Wife Swapping is the Future

"I can always trade up."
(in reference to Heather)

Gold Plated!

(In reference to starting his own agency)

"My employees will be members of a chain gang, an actual chain gang. They will be chained together. But gold plated, so it's a nice chain."

Lord Knows How She Puts Up With Him

"Heather loves my crazy ways... Both outside and underneath the covers."

Witnessed by Someone Other Than Myself

Theo alone in the creative room:
(yelling and pointing at empty desks around him)
"GET TO WORK!! I'M THE BOSS OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!"

On People In The Office

"He's the one who looks like a weiner, right?"

Beets

With a container of beets in his hand.
Theo to Bill: "I saved my period for you, in a box, so we can be closer.
Here. Do I look healthy?"

I Think Charlie Makes A Better Nickname

Theo: "Nobody calls me by my nickname."
Liz: "You don't have one.
Theo: "Yeah, BOSSMAN."

BWBNA

Email from Theo:

Rachel,

Don't be upset, TT paid me a visit. He's moved on. He borrowed my iPod data cable just a moment ago.

Who's HOT now?!

Bossman

(When Brian's Not Around, BWBNA)

The Obsession with Sex Slaves Begins

Theo: "I'm Heather's slave. Sex slave. Yeahh!"

Bossy and Boss are Not The Same Thing

Rachael to Theo: "You're not the boss of me."
Theo: "that's ok because I'm the boss of Heather."